Slow moving car...

November of 2017 my son and I took a cross country road trip. I wrote this after returning and never published it. When I came across it, I thought I should share it. I hope you find it helpful!


Lately I have felt like people are passing me by. Like my progress in life isn’t moving fast enough to keep up with my perception of other’s progress. I am so busy looking to the right and left of me to determine whether or not my path is fast enough, I continue to veer off and make what would be a relatively straight road look like a mountain switch back.

When I was driving cross country with my son, we spent the majority of the first day in the desert. The speed limit is 70, so I hit the cruise control to keep from getting a ticket. Since there wasn’t much scenery around us, it seemed like we were going 25-30 miles an hour. There were few indicators to know if we were making progress. We rarely saw other cars and there wasn’t enough to pass that would help us recognize the speed. (Boy am I glad for cruise control).

We watched the dotted white lane indicator lines tick by like a watched second hand on a clock or a pot of water heating to a boil. Seconds seemed like minutes.

We didn’t need a GPS since we were on one highway for three and a half days, so we didn’t use one. The only thing that determined our distance was the very few and far between exit numbers. Much to our surprise we would travel two hours and 160 miles or so were down. Traveling about 800 each day, that was a big deal.

During the journey, it felt slow and unproductive. Each night though, we would recount the number of states, cities, and miles we accomplished.

That’s how I am feeling right now. When I hit a bench mark of some sort, I feel productive, but while I am going through the journey of life, I feel like I am accomplishing little to nothing. What is that? How does that work? What I am I so busy thinking about that I don’t allow myself to slow down enough to enjoy the journey?

Why is just practicing the discipline of what it takes to accomplish what I desire not enough? I don’t think I’m alone in this or our fitness industry wouldn’t be flooded with “lose weight fast” programs that don’t work and actually cause havoc on the body for the long run.

The discipline of showing up for oneself for one’s health should be enough, but it’s not. After a month or two of showing up, we stop because “it didn’t work”…Not true! We didn’t do the work. We want results than we want to put in effort.

So here’s our gentle reminder for anything we desire in life…Your dreams can’t work harder than you do. If you’re not willing to put in the effort, re-frame your desires to the level of effort you’re willing to put in to the outcome.

NOW! I am most definitely NOT saying that you should start some strict diet and exercise regime and you’re weak if you don’t sustain it. Quite the opposite. Know the bigger picture outcome you desire then take ONE step by creating ONE habit that will get you there. After you master it start with another. You will find that as you continue to build new habits, your momentum will also increase and each new habit will be easier.

Only you can decide what your ONE DESIRED OUTCOME is, but you can get help building the habits that will get you there.



Yellow Footprints + 20 Years!

Today marks twenty years since I landed in Savannah, GA to be greeted by a couple of men in “smokies” who ushered me and many other hopefuls onto a bus to take me to the place I most wanted to be on that day- the yellow footprints of Parris Island, SC.

If you don’t know much about our Marine Corps, you may not know about the iconic yellow footprints. In Parris Island (where real Marines are born) and San Diego, yellow footprints are painted on the ground in a platoon formation. The bus of hopeful “Poolees” arrives at the yellow footprints, and they step their feet onto a set of footprints forming a platoon for the first time in their lives. In that moment, they become “Recruits” and are a step closer to becoming US Marines.

The yelling comes from every direction, and words aren’t easy to understand. The proud yet terrified recruits stand there doing everything they know to stay on the “good side” of the smokie (a hat that looks like Smokie the Bear’s) wearing Drill Instructors (please do NOT call them Drill Sergeants- that’s insulting).

The Marine Corps has created an intense and dramatic boot camp arrival experience that is so perfected that when I flew in a prop-plane from Philadelphia to Savannah we endured a thunder and lightning storm that all but killed us. To this day, I am convinced the Corps has something to do with that.

By time the Poolees arrive on Parris Island, it is dark and there is nothing but boot camp all around. There is no outside world anymore. The Drill Instructors (DI’s) are quick to tell the now Recruits, “There is one way on and one way off this island. You can try to leave, but most likely you will be picked up by a DI or eaten by an alligator in the swamp.”

By time I had arrived on Parris Island, I wanted to be a Marine more than anything I had ever wanted before. I was excited to step up to the challenge of becoming a Marine and honestly looked forward to the 13 weeks of intense training ahead of me. I left behind a full scholarship to a music conservatory because I was eighteen and fearless.

As I sit here and reflect the feelings of that momentous day, I see a pattern of those days throughout my life. Some may say there are few things that compare to the experience of becoming a Marine, and they are right. But the feelings I had that night on the yellow footprints on the other hand, have surfaced many times in my life.

I felt that way the first time my ex-husband deployed and every time after. I felt that way when I received my son’s diagnosis of epilepsy. I felt that way when I took my Personal Trainer Certification exam. I felt that way when I started the Infinitely Fit brand. I felt that way when I opened the doors to the commercial studio. I felt that way every time I moved from one home to the next. And I feel that way again now.

After twenty years, what have I learned? Well…I guess I have learned that terrified and hopeful often come together. I live for challenges which means I seek chaos. Sometimes it’s crazy instead of chaos that I find, but often one doesn’t come without a little of the other. And to be honest, I like crazy and chaos- just ask my friends. I have never stopped chasing those feelings.

Just like twenty years ago, I am here in another transition that has me terrified and hopeful. Like then, I am looking to start another career with a new kind of challenge. I am looking to make a shift, open my eyes to more of the world, and dive into the best of who I am.

Having become a Marine, I know I can face whatever is in my future. There are also many other endeavors in my life that demonstrated the same grit and strength required to become a Marine. It all comes down to how much we want what’s on the other side of the obstacle. When I wanted to become a Marine, I knew I needed to work in the confines of the rules so I could get what I wanted. That’s just life. What obstacle are you determined to overcome right now? Keep your eye on that prize and you will make it becoming more successful than you anticipated.

For all my Marine brothers and sisters out there, Semper Fi!!

Boot Camp Graduation with my sister and parents

Boot Camp Graduation with my sister and parents

The day I was promoted to Sergeant

The day I was promoted to Sergeant



Closing the studio, chasing new opportunities!

This is by far the most difficult blog to get started. Not because I am not sure what to say, rather I have so much to say, I don’t know how to start…Here goes!

Infinitely Fit was established in January 2013 after passing my personal training certification exam the previous October. I had no idea where it would take me, but I knew I wanted to help others feel the success I experienced because of changes I made in my lifestyle.

Today, April 13, 2018, I sit here knowing I accomplished what I set out to do, and it’s just the beginning!

Over the last five years, I have used my brand to inspire self-acceptance and change lives. The vehicle our brand has used thus far is fitness training, and using fitness training we have supported over five hundred people on their personal wellness journeys.

Noodle Hockey (1st day in the studio)

Noodle Hockey (1st day in the studio)

As I write, I reminisce about the evolutions this business has taken on in a short five years. It started with training friends and family to prepare myself to be a trainer, then friends hired me to train them, which led to my first personal training client outside my sphere, then I joined forces to begin and grow a fitness ministry at church, then the opportunity to start group classes in a Tae Kwan Do studio surfaced, which then led me to make my garage the home structure of Infinitely Fit, finally opening the studio in March 2016. The brand has also had several evolutions during the time in Carmel Mountain Ranch.

All ranges of emotions surface because many friendships formed under the operation of Infinitely Fit, and those relationship bonds improved lives for a lifetime.

We have sweat together, laughed together, cried together, and celebrated together as we endured life and our wellness journeys. 

LJ's 35th birthday and IF first Saturday class

LJ's 35th birthday and IF first Saturday class

Some of my favorite memories include playing noodle hockey games (which everyone inevitably competed in like it was the Olympics), little Noah chiming in with his opinion of my exercise choice with a raspberry, my 35th birthday when our first Saturday class launched, hiring my first interns including Cathleen. Then there was the day I accidentally overslept for Tracy’s first 5:30AM class and Terese vouched for me and then checked to see my car was home and I was OK.  I can't forget our annual Thanksgiving Work Out to Pig Out classes and lastly, launching Health Happy Hour which launched my speaking career off the ground.

Annual Thanksgiving Work Out to Pig Out & CRB Fitters!

Annual Thanksgiving Work Out to Pig Out & CRB Fitters!

Now, it’s with excitement and joy that I close the doors to the Infinitely Fit studio on May 13, 2018.

We are not saying goodbye, we are saying hello to new opportunities. In true LJ fashion, I’m filled with enthusiasm for the possibilities of the future of the Infinitely Fit brand in new and exciting ways.

Thank you to all who have attended classes and events, supported my endeavors, clients, and trainers, and those who partnered with Infinitely Fit to change our community at large. I’m filled with gratitude and humility for all that has been done for me and through me.

Please continue to follow Infinitely Fit as we launch the new face in the coming weeks.

Live Well SD 5K

Live Well SD 5K

Bestie competition

Bestie competition

The rigth kind of hurt?

The rigth kind of hurt?

Partner workout

Partner workout

RBBA Grand Opening Ceremony for IF

RBBA Grand Opening Ceremony for IF

A family that trains together...

A family that trains together...

Slam it out!

Slam it out!

4th annual Workout to Pigout

4th annual Workout to Pigout

Sis and Bestie with me on the set of CW6 News

Sis and Bestie with me on the set of CW6 News

First day at the CMR studio

First day at the CMR studio



Sparkly Dress

I have never been girlie. I have spent my life playing in the mud and being “one of the guys”. I’m comfortable there and enjoy lots of things which are generally considered masculine. And to be quite honest, I like that about who I am.

Now, even though I am not girlie, bet your bottom dollar and I AM A GIRL! My brain operates like any woman’s brain, and I want to be treated like a woman. I am feminine and womanly, I just like sports a lot.

When it comes to make up, hair, and clothes, I’m kind of lost. I want to look like one of those women who knows how to put it all together, but I don’t feel like I pull it off nor do I care to put the time into learning how. (I’d rather go watch football or play soccer).

Every once in a while, I do find a dress I love and am willing to buy, even knowing I will only wear it once or twice. I have this sparkly dress that is one of these said dresses.  

I bought this dress back in 2013 and have worn it twice. I LOVE it! I’m generally not a sparkles girl, but there is something about this dress that I just can’t get enough of! I feel sexy and feminine when I wear it.

Jan 2013- The first time Infinitely Fit sponsored an event.

Jan 2013- The first time Infinitely Fit sponsored an event.

It hangs in my closet waiting for the day I break it out again. It beckons me regularly. For years, I hesitated to wear it because it’s a party dress, and I don’t go to cocktail parties often or night clubs...well, ever. Every time I see it in my closet, I envision a night in Vegas in my sparkly party dress. I walk into a night club drawing attention partially because I am blinding people with the sparkles and partially because I ooze confidence as I rock the sparkles. This dress wasn’t meant to hang in my closet, so when I get it on I, of course, dance the night away in my heels somewhat awkwardly because shoes and I aren’t friends. I can feel the joy, laughter and confidence as I envision the evening.

Unfortunately, the sparkly dress doesn’t fit right now. It’s not a lack of confidence in how I look in it; it just does not fit. But I am ready to rock that dress again.

To motivate me for what I really want, I pulled the dress out and hung up in my room. Every day I get to look at that dress to remind me of what I am working towards.

I refuse to diet or take on some crazy weight loss program, but I want to stay focused on my fitness routine and continue to eat mindfully to achieve my sparkly dress goal. Those things don’t happen by accident though. So, I must be intentional about it and begin setting personal boundaries that will lead me to my goals. I’m breaking down my goal into progress steps that I can measure, and they have NOTHING to do with weight!!

Jan 2013- Me & my ex-husband heading out for an Infinitely Fit event. 

Jan 2013- Me & my ex-husband heading out for an Infinitely Fit event. 

Step 1- Set a regular work schedule as possible, so I can stay focused on one thing at a time.

Step 2- Set a consistent workout plan for my cardio and strength routine 6 days per week and take yoga once a week.

Step 3- Plan meals around my schedule 5-6 days a week, so I don’t mindlessly eat on the go.

Step 4- Last but not least: Leave out my sparkly dress.

What’s your sparkly dress right now? What goal do you have? And what is going to motivate you to stick with it? What specific steps of progress do you need to achieve your goal?

Do you have a sparkly dress or dapper suit? Because as soon as I feel fantastic in it, it’s party time in Vegas! Who’s in?!



Two years to a new life...

I walked into the studio filled with hope and excitement. Paint, buckets, brushes, and drop cloths filled the multi colored space which I was desperately ready to make my own. Many friends and family members offered to come and help with the task ahead: We must paint and set up the studio in less than 48 hours.


To move into this space, things were simple, easy even. I thought this moment of success would feel more momentous, but really, it felt like work. With all the work that needed to be done, I was elated, joyful, and stressed to no end….

This picture captures the joy and stress pretty well....don't you think?

This picture captures the joy and stress pretty well....don't you think?

March 12, 2016, as we furiously worked to make Infinitely Fit the space I imagined, I didn’t know how pivotal the decision to move into a commercial space was for me in all aspects of my life, not just for my business.

At the time, this decision seemed to be based on business facts, and some emotions tied strictly to the business growth. I had no idea how much it meant in every facet of my life.

When I moved Infinitely Fit into the studio where we now run our daily inspiration, motivation, and just plain fun, I found freedom from my past and found hope for a brand-new future. It opened what felt was a whole new way of seeing and being.

I began to look at everything as if I was balancing on my head or walking without my V-8.

I had already been fighting to stay in the life I had because that’s what I’m “supposed” to do. And my new perspective amplified those feelings. And I just couldn’t stay any longer.  

Over the course of the following two years, my whole life changed.

I was married to a Marine for nearly 14 years before we separated just after the studio opened.

I was a full time single mom 90% of the time due to deployments, and now I see my son occasionally throughout the weeks and every other weekend.

I was the leader of my small family, and now I am alone.

I had a middle schooler and now I have a high schooler.

I ran a small operation business out of my garage, and now I have trainers and overhead to worry about.

I had a home, that even though we rented, was my home, I now live with a friend.

I had a healthy fit body, now I have a healthy and less fit body.

I had many friends whom I could count on, now my friends are scattered or the relationship has run it’s course.

I had my “Framily” in the form of Bestie, her husband and my nieces, and now, they live across the country.

I had my bestie to go to happy hour, plan a girls day or just be there for each other on a whim, and now we have to work hard to even coordinate time to talk.

Before March 14, 2016, I thought I was the girl who could tackle anything and still have it all…

Before I was bold enough to take on the gym and leave my marriage, I was working towards everything I felt I “should” have and want. I can’t say that I don’t still look for what I think I “should” want in life, but I am much more aware, and listen to my internal desires more and more frequently.

So, you ask, what have I learned by flipping my life upside over the span of two years?

Probably more than I can ever articulate in this short post, but here is my best attempt:

The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.
— Robert Burns

The quote is the start of the process, not the whole story. What it doesn’t explain is that when the plans go awry, that’s when real life happens, learning ensues, and character is built. It’s what we need.

Continuously flipping everything on its head for the last two years didn’t break me, it grew me, my relationships, my resiliency, my self-confidence, my coping skills, and so much more.

It makes me think of muscle breakdown. When we workout, we are actually tearing our muscle fibers. That is the purpose of loading the muscles. Then, our bodies repair the muscles and the fibers are stronger than before.

Our whole body works that way, so what if we embrace the breakdown process for all aspects of our well-being: mentally, emotionally, spiritually, relationally. Because It A-L-L breaks down.

It happens all at once or in waves, but some aspect of life will fall short of our expectations; then we start again. Rinse and repeat.

Let’s be honest, life keeps moving whether we intentionally start again or not. The choice to start again provides greater growth and faster healing. The choice to resist the change forces us to stay in the pain longer. And don’t kid yourself, it is a choice!

Change is inevitable, the choice to move with the change is optional. There are far greater benefits to making the choice to move with the change rather than resist.

Maybe you have a cascading affect of change like mine has been over the last two years, but it doesn’t have to be. It can be small changes that add up to make a big impact. Embracing change makes the ride a little more enjoyable and moves you through more change faster, so you see the results you want sooner.

I encourage you to evaluate your change resistance to the things going on in your life, so that you can make a conscious choice to change or stay the same. Being aware is the first step to moving forward, healing past wounds, and building character that provides resiliency.

Thank you for all who have been a part of this journey. I look forward to celebrating again with you next year and many more to come!


Inspired Self Acceptance...Do You??


Inspired Self Acceptance...Do You??

How can you reach your personal fitness and health goals if you're living in the box others have put you into?  

Love your life and the body you live in. Have you heard that before? It's what we're all about at Infinitely Fit.  It is the basis of Inspired self acceptance and it is something we and our members at Infinitely Fit focus on living true to.  Inspired self acceptance is something that doesn't come quickly or something realized in a few weeks, it's something you must work at on a regular basis, daily even. Weight loss, fat loss, health markers, fitness goals- none of that will happen unless you understand and embrace self acceptance first.  Maybe this is breaking the rules of personal trainers, gyms and fitness studios, but we have to; as a gym and as individuals.

We don't want to live by anyone's RULES anymore.....  *continue to full blog....



Resolutions becoming solutions


We're already on the 39th day, 6th full week or 2nd month of the year. How is your resolution going? Are you where you thought you "should" be by now? 

A common myth about habit change is that it takes 30 days for a new habit to form. While that can be true, it is often closer to 60 days to automate a new habit. 

So I ask again? How are you doing? Are you staying accountable to yourself? Do you need help staying accountable?

Let's be honest, we all know the fastest way to successfully change a habit is to have an accountability partner. But that's not always realistic. Sometimes we're not in a place in a life with kind of support, and sometimes we're just not comfortable with the vulnerability of sharing our goals with others. 

A method to hold yourself accountable is the "Don't Break the Chain" method employed by comedian Jerry Seinfeld. I personally use this one all-the-time because it's super simple to do, and very effective. 

Get an old school monthly calendar, print one if needed. Every day you accomplish your habit, you place an "X" or some other visual on the date. Now just try not to break the chain. This is how Seinfeld became such a good joke writer. He would write jokes and practice delivery daily, holding himself accountable with the "chain". 

The psychological effect of seeing the chain grow, is phenomenal.

I remember when my son was little and we would be going through deployments that sometimes seemed to drag by. One of the ways we would stay motivated even when it seemed slow was to make a paper chain. You know, the old school chains you would make as Christmas Tree garland. Everyday, we would get up and attach another "link" in the chain. It helped to see the progress through the months apart.

Use anything that creates a visual of progress as a successful accountability tracking addition to your new found habit. Monitoring your tangible progress of a process such as going to the gym every day, is empowering versus monitoring something like weight and measurements which can be slow and finiky. The growing "chain" will become the reward system your brain needs to keep going even when it's hard. 

Remember, resolutions can be made any time of the year, they are just referred to as "goals"! So go ahead, commit to yourself today that you're going to make a small change to get healthier. What's one thing you can do? 

Here are a some suggestions: 

  • Call a distant friend or family member daily
  • Compliment your significant other daily
  • Stretch for 10 minutes daily
  • Drink X ounces of water daily
  • Read 5 pages of a book daily (that's over (6) 300 page books in a year)
  • Walk for 10 minutes at lunch
  • Taste a new food daily
  • Turn off your phone and/or TV 30 minutes before bed

It's not too late to find a solution for that resolution. We're only 39 days, 6 weeks or just over  two months into 2018. What's your solution? 



Causing Your Own Stress?


Unfortunately, there really is no such thing as stress management. We don't "manage" our stress, rather it manages us, or we learn to reduce it. 

We tend to believe that stress happens to us, but the truth is that stress is created within us. It is manifested by our reactions to things happening in our lives. I know what you're thinking right now. 

"LJ, I am having trouble making ends meet, my family is a mess, I am constantly running from place to place with my kids, my boss is breathing down my neck even when I'm not there, and I haven't had a good night's rest since my 12-year-old was born" 

Am I close? 

Actually, you don't have to answer that. I know I am because I have the same kind of storm pelting my life too. 

Depending on where you are in your life right now, you may want to take whatever device you're on and throw it after you read my next sentence... 

You're creating your own stress.

Yep, you read it right We all create our stress or lack thereof because our perception is our reality. If you perceive everything is happening to you and you lack the control to handle it, that is exactly what will happen when something else goes wrong (because something else is going to go wrong). 

Call it hope or call it work, but you do have the power to control it. You cannot control the stress triggers coming at you, but you can control your reaction to that environmental trigger for stress

When something happens, there is space for us to use the more advanced and developed part of our brains rather than react using the most primitive part of our brains. It's a habit because like the lack of financial and nutritional education in schools, we aren't taught emotional intelligence in school. 

The moment the stress is triggered you are most likely reacting not responding, and that's OK. After the point of reaction though, you have a choice to make. Do you want to stay in reaction mode or move to choosing a different response? The power of that choice helps you decide your stress level. 

The triggered stress may come back to harass you from time to time, but once you're aware you can keep choosing to not be stressed. Does it sound impossible? I promise you it's not, but it is a process. If you've spent your whole like reacting, learning to respond may take time and work, but you can change your habit. 

The first step in changing your habit is to be aware. Begin to notice what thoughts are running through your head as you notice tension in your body.

Next listen to the thoughts and notice how you emotionally respond to those thoughts. Do you feel sad, angry, hurt, frustrated, helpless? Maybe you know what you’re feeling and maybe you don’t.

As the thoughts continue to race through your mind, take a breath, a long and deep breath to interrupt the thoughts.

Immediately you will feel less stressed by the situation.

Notice which thoughts are lies and which are truths.

Breathe truth into those negative lies, and if you’re not sure how to do that, just keep breathing!

It will get better and easier, so keep at it. Remember to be kind to yourself because you are learning a new skill and habit. That is always a process and doesn’t come over night. Remember self-compassion, self-love, and self-kindness even when you think you don’t “deserve” it.

Remember that you are worth the effort. You are worthy of living a happy life that rises above your circumstances.

Other preventative stress strategies include keeping healthy food habits (the best you can, not 100% perfection), take time for rest and relaxation, be more mindful in everything you do, exercise and/or move your body regularly, put your electronics away from time to time, and connect with people by making eye contact, touching, and smiling.

They are simple but not easy to prioritize. Take one at a time and get started. Do not expect perfection. Like any skill you will get better at it!

Please know that Infinitely Fit is a community here to support you locally, virtually, and in anyway we can. It takes a village, so let other be your village!

Happy & Healthy Days Ahead!



Fearless...stripped down to just be


I spent year in the church trusting in God, finding my way, trying to obey all the rules of the faith while seeking an authentic relationship with my maker. When I initiated my divorce, my conflicting world became more apparent. I wanted to have this unbelievable unwavering and perfect faith that others could commend and follow, but that’s not what it looked like. It looked real and ugly.

Following a set of rules has never brought me closer to God, in fact, it often took me further from him. The rules kept me from what the church kept telling me to do which was “let go and let God.” I never understood how to follow the rules and let go. I still don’t. I do however understand better than I ever have what it feels like to be stripped down of all the things I most covet.

In the last year I have lost my husband, significantly reduced the engagement I have with my son (almost as if he went off to college), lost a relationship with a close personal friend, my “framily” in San Diego have almost all moved away, lost some of my health, stopped sleeping, and my business has managed to just sustain but not thrive through the difficulties.

I used to see myself as superwoman, like my mom (my words not hers). I have a business, I am a part time single mom because my husband deploys, I am a loving and patient wife, I’m a fierce philanthropist, I plan gatherings with friends and framily, take my nieces on dates, I work out daily and eat well, and I still manage to get to church every Sunday with my son a part of the worship band. I defined myself by what I thought I was supposed to be.

Over the last few weeks, I have had the harshest of change, the most difficult of which is my declining health. The second is the impending inevitable departure of my Bestie. As I sat thinking about it and how to make this into a positive, I struggled. To remain present and not always be angry, and shutting everyone out is a struggle. Feeling like a victim is a deep hatred of mine only surpassed by acting like one. As I struggled with my beliefs about my character and personality in contrast to how I was handling it, I just let go. I thought, “I can’t eat this or drink this away. It’s too much, I could literally kill myself trying. I can’t pretend like it’s not happening because it is.” So I decided I was too tired to come up with anything, so surrender to it for now.

When I awoke the next morning, I was reeling through all the pain and fear. I couldn’t stay in my own head and didn’t have the capacity to meditate and stay in the moment so I tried to numb it or make sense of it by reading. I was reading Fearless by Arrianna Huffington and the chapter happened to be on fearlessness in God and death. I almost skipped it to be honest.

As I read in the quiet of the early morning, I was recounting my spiritual journey. I don’t have a fear of death and I think that’s partially because I lost people very close to me at very young ages well before I felt it should be their time. Everyone dies and we never know when, so I don’t spend time in fear of that, but I also don’t embrace that it has not yet happened and I still get to enjoy (or not) life.

Reading and recounting and evaluating my situation, my perspective of my current state changed. I have a choice to make:

1-  I live in mourning of what is lost and fear of the VERY unknown future.
2- I look at this moment as the ultimate strip down I have been wanting and just BE.

Since my weight loss in 2011, I have been struggling to figure out who I am and what I want. When I realized how little weight loss does for confidence and self-image, I was at a loss and kept seeking outside sources to make that happen.

But the truth is in any given moment, we are who we were in our past. The series of actions and thoughts created us and if we want a future with new, we have to start here and now with new.

Although I would NEVER choose for my Bestie to leave my close proximity, maybe it’s what we need to grow and be better for each other. I won’t define myself by our relationship the way I do with her here, I can’t. Maybe if I can’t define myself by my “just work hard and it will be OK” body, then who am I? Not “what am I?”

These thoughts are a work in progress, but I know I long to be the person who doesn’t place my self worth in my body or my friends and family saying I’m enough (which by the way the always do and I still don’t believe it). I’m not there, people, but I long for it. Like a deep calling to be connected to something just waiting inside me. I’m guessing I need to just BE, but I can tell you this, that is a new skill I am going to have to work on.



Calm the Crazy

calmthe crazy.jpg

Are you a walker? I’m not in the least. It’s not like I don’t walk, but I just don’t love it, or even like it as a form of exercise.

I am willing to park far away or walk to stores and events, but I have never been an exercise walker. Walking with girlfriends is fun because we get to chat and I enjoy the scenery of a hike, but walking (or even hiking) for the sake of exercise kills me. My mind races escape me from the dread moments on a walk. I always think, “If I just ran it would be faster and I would be done sooner”; therefore, I have always taken to running more than walking (which has its own kind of crazy).

Early this year I had some injuries and health issues that prevented me from running, so I had to begin walking to keep from going crazy and keep up some form of cardio. As soon as I could run again, though, I started it up and left walking in the dust…until now.

Just recently, I came down with a cold and realized I couldn’t exercise hard or I would make it worse rather than better…. So, I started walking again. Feeling sorry for myself, I begrudgingly walked the last several days.

This morning, I was just getting started at work and I realized how calm I felt. I thought it was odd because being sick makes me anxious since I can’t move more. Then I relished in the thoughts of calm and thought about why I had so much peace, and it struck me: Walking is calming

Walking calmed my crazy!

Mental health benefits of walking for a highly stressed mind and body can be significantly more powerful than a high intensity workout or run because exercise is a form of stress on the body. Generally, that form of stress reaps positive rewards for the body. However, when there is an already taxed system from illness or a prolonged stressful life situation, a higher stress workout like running or HIIT can be detrimental to healing.

After recognizing the change in my mental state, I walked with enthusiasm for the peace it would bring. Now to share with you from a hard-headed runner and all-out, balls-to-the-wall exerciser, I am writing this blog about why you should walk (even if you’re a runner)!  

Here are 5 of my favorite psychological and physiological benefits of walking:

1- Walking is calming to the nervous system, reducing stress and increasing brain activity.

2- Walking at a moderate pace for 45-60 minutes 4 times a week will increase your cardio capacity, decrease your resting heart rate and blood pressure, and help maintain a healthy weight.

3- Walking can include a social element during a walk n’ talk, which provides a mental health benefits of bonding and reducing stress while feeling socially connected and supported.

4- Walking improved balance and coordination (although that second is still an issue for me). Think about it, walking is the act of falling forward and catching yourself again.

5- Walking increases bone density without supplying too much pressure to the joints. Basically, most of us will be able to walk much longer than we will be able to run. Even if you’re a runner, add a day of walking to prolong your running years.

My epiphany of walking versus my running comes at an fortunate time to release this blog. We recently launched our community walking groups! They are free and open to the public. We meeting Mondays at 8AM & 5PM. Please look at our website for details. There’s no need to sign up, so show up and join the fun!

Happy Walking Trails to You!

Additional Blogs about benefits of walking (and running)
1- 5 ways walking is better than running  
2- The physical and psychological benefits of walking  
3- Go for a walk  
4- Walking can lift your mood




How do they do that?!

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Have you ever been watching someone accomplish something and you say or think, “How do they do that? There’s no way I could do that!”

I know I have!

When I am in those moments I begin to contemplate the number of hours it probably took to complete that task well. It is said that 10,000 hours of something is the expert mark. That is a HUGE commitment to something. That is 416 and 2/3 days of work or 1250 days of 8 hours every day- so for 3 and a half years straight, including weekends and holidays, you would practice 8 hours a day.

Like I said, HUGE commitment!

If you are an expert at anything or even really close to an expert at something, do you remember what it was like when you first tried that skill? Was it awkward and uncomfortable? Or did you feel like an expert out the gate?

My guess is that you were awkward and looked a little ridiculous trying. Yes? No?

For those who don’t know, I was a high-level bassoonist in a past life. I had a full scholarship to go to a music conservatory (of my choice) and chose to enlist as a Marine musician instead.

When I started playing an instrument in fourth grade, I was THE WORST clarinet player. Not just because I was in fourth grade, I was bad for a fourth grader. Something just didn’t click for me, and I don’t come from a long line of musicians (we are few and far between in my very large family).

I stuck out elementary school band and decided to play again in sixth grade when I moved up to junior high. I remember the first day of sixth grade band like it was yesterday. Mr. Hicksaw stood up in front of the students sitting at the cafeteria tables (because that was our band room), and told us about all the instruments we needed to fill out our more mature junior high band.

I took one look at the oboe (yes oboe), and thought “I can play that. It looks like a clarinet.” (Remember I could barely play the clarinet, but I was always up for a new adventure).

After he introduced the instruments, I went up and asked to play the oboe. Mr. Hicksaw only had one oboe and my more petite friend, Amy, wanted to play it too. Well, I was born 5’7” so he decided which of us would play which instrument based on my ability to carry the bassoon.

He said, “Amy, you can play the oboe. And L.J., you can play the big brother, the bassoon.” I said OK and he proceeded to show me how to put it together and teach me what the pieces were called.

In true L.J. fashion, I went home that night and told my mom I was playing a new instrument. When she asked what it was, I replied, “The bah? The bah-something, and it’s really big.”

The next day I went to class and couldn’t remember how to put it together.

I tell you that ridiculous story because I went from that in sixth grade to a paid musician by ninth grade and pretty much a pick of music conservatories (not Juliard, but still pretty good) by time I was in my senior year. The tremendous growth was based in opportunity, and that opportunity yielded more practice which helped me become an expert.

Had I given up on the bassoon when I didn’t remember how to put it together or didn’t show up for my first audition because I didn’t know how to play the audition piece (true story), I would have never had the opportunity to become an expert.

My bassoon expertise didn’t come over night. It took seven years, and when I “arrived” at that level, I needed to practice more to keep up with those around me and to continue to grow to another level.  My expertise brought me to an audition for the Marine Band and making the best decision of my life.

That decision is still a part of my life every day because that decision introduced me to my ex-husband, and we had an amazing son together. The Marine Corps taught me so much over the 19 years I experienced with the Marine Corps as a Marine, a spouse, and a civilian employee.

If it hadn’t been for being an expert bassoonist, the Marine Corps may have never found me, and my life would be incomplete.

I encourage you to try that thing when your brain says, “There’s no way I could do that!”, to try anyway. Maybe you’re right, you can’t do it. And honestly, you probably are right to start with, so just expect that. And maybe you don’t ever want to try again. But more likely, you can’t do it but you’re willing to try again until you find if you truly enjoy it.

In the studio, we have people tell us all the time “I don’t (fill in the blank).” What they are really saying is “I’m afraid to try (fill in the blank) because I may:

·         Look silly

·         Be bad at it

·         Not enjoy it

·         Find that it’s hard

·         Leave my comfort zone

Trust me, we ALL look silly from time to time. You should have seen me when I started yoga or golf…come to think of it, you can still see it when I play golf.

Trying something new will do more good than it can hurt your ego. Trying something new increases brain activity and introduces new neuropathways which makes you younger. Trying new things provides perspective and gives you an opportunity to focus in a way you never have before. If nothing else, trying something new gives you a good story to tell your friends over wine.

What is something you have been impressed with that you thought you could “never” do?

Go do that! Everyone starts somewhere….



Long, hard look


You may or may not know of my current situation, but I am almost a year into my marital separation. It's amicable, but that doesn't make things easy. We just went to court for the final hearing, and now we wait for the decree in the mail.

I sit here baffled that our almost 15 year relationship is ending. Throughout this divorce journey, I have had to face more of my demons than ever before. Facing those demons isn’t easy, but it has always been worth it.

After the hearing, my ex and I went to eat and discussed the ups and downs of the marriage, sharing some more pain from the past and hope for the future. We both had moments of emotion, but mostly there was an air of uncertainty as we awkwardly navigated our budding new normal.

It was extremely difficult to sit across the table from him as he shared his new life. A life without me. A life where my opinion doesn’t count, or at least doesn’t have to count. A life where I let go and let him be him in a way I was never capable during our marriage.

We were 22 and 23 when we married and we were still those ages when we had Kiddo who is now fourteen. We barely knew ourselves and knew each other even less.

Life without each other is a brief moment compared to life with each other. I have more years of memory in a family with my ex than I have years of conscious memories in my family life growing up. Whether we were best for each other or not, that’s a lot of time to spend with someone.

As I drove to pick up my son to spend the night with me, I thought about the conversations between my ex and me over the last year. I thought about the times in my marriage I dug in deep to be everything to everyone and the times I skated. I am and always have been imperfect and have always struggled with my imperfection.

Fortunately, during this twenty-five minute ride, I experienced a new tape being played in my head. Not one of accepting imperfection, rather one of “I gave it my all, damn it!”

The pain I had experienced as my ex told me of the things he was now doing which I begged him to do for years, began to turn to strength. I suddenly felt empowered. I began saying aloud, “I was worth it. I AM worth it.” 

I know it sounds unlikely, but the change felt instant. Suddenly I felt an emotional healing that physically lifted my posture, strengthen my spirit, and softened my heart. In the blink of an eye driving north on the 163, my usual self-talk tapes of defeat, failure and guilt turned to strength, power, and love...for me.

I didn’t know what to do with the feelings or how to process the information that changed so suddenly, so I decided to drive to work to do a couple of things to gather my thoughts. As the thoughts gathered, I realized the only way for me to solidify this tape change was to share this with my ex.

I drove to pick up my son, and when I arrived, I asked him to go to the car so I could talk to Dad. When my son was out of ear shot, I told my ex that I had to share something important for my own sense of closure. I said, “I hurt because you wouldn’t do the things I was asking for and now that I am gone, you are. I am happy for you, but I hurt because I am worth it. I am worth the work and I always was. I am worth it, and I need you to know that. Its not all your fault. I didn’t know I was worth it, so I didn’t ask for it. But I am and was worth it.”

He apologized, I cried, we hugged, and I left. No grandeur.

When I got in the car to take my son and his friend home, we chatted and laughed a bit. Nothing like two teenage boys to provide some comic relief from the heaviness of the day. I am and will forever be grateful my ex and I had that moment together, and I am grateful it was brief. 

Since we have been back home, I have been trying to write this blog. I want to write it because it is a hugely defining moment in my life that I believe needs to be shared, but I also want to be careful not to vilify my ex or expose the intimacies of our situation.

Since writing this blog (and I have been doing it for at least two hours), I realized something more important than finally believing I am worth it…In case that wasn’t enough…

I realized that I have waited my whole life for someone to show me I am worth it, but I have never tried to treat myself with that same respect. I have constantly measured my worth and value by the yard stick others use for my life. That's not how I want to live any longer. 

This divorce has taught me so much about me. The more I am willing to take long hard looks in the mirror, the more I can confront. The more I confront, the more beauty and depth I see in the woman before me. I’m elated and terrified that this is just the beginning…



I believe...

I’ve been working a lot on creating clear succinct marketing messages at Infinitely Fit as we get ready to roll into the new year.  My best thinking happens when I listen to music or podcasts and I am nowhere near my desk….Just like what happened this morning. I was sitting in a coffee shop with a paper and pen, no computer and my phone on “do not disturb”. My ADHD behaviors run strong, so I need to find a way to remain focused. 

This morning, I sat with my music playing in my ears and jotting down all thoughts that came to my head. I had some specifics I was trying to get out, but free writing is the best way to start making sense of the chaos in my brain. As my free writing continued, I got so excited! I literally jumped out of my seat, grabbed my stuff and quickly exited the coffee shop. There were a few funny looks as I did it, but who cares?! 

I am so excited to share with you what I came up with because it is the heart of Infinitely Fit, it is my heart. It is not succinct and it is not a nice neat little marketing slogan, tagline or USP, but it is the truth and the life blood of Infinitely Fit. 

I believe whole-heartedly in shifting the cultural norms surround health and wellness, and most importantly body image from the inside out of everyone in America. 

I believe we are all hiding ourselves under many layers of what we think we “should be” rather than walking in the glory of who we uniquely are. 

I believe in future generations filled with a sense of worth that isn’t tied to actions, aesthetics or talent, rather it’s tied to an intrinsic value that allows withstand the worst of bullying and hatred regardless of deed.

I believe our world will be a place of love and acceptance for everyone once we all practice self-acceptance. 

I believe the path to self-worth is paved by self-acceptance.

I believe we don’t just deserve to but we are obligated to treat ourselves better than we ever have so we can then treat others with the dignity and respect they deserve. 

I believe the only way for our world to begin thriving is by taking responsibility and ownership of who we are and our actions. 

I believe if we keep hiding under the layers of who we believe we should be, we will never unlock the power within us. And the world needs each of us to fulfill our unique purpose with power. 

This is what burns inside me every day! Helping people helps me grow, the more I grow, the more I want to help. I am not perfect and I don’t have all the answers, but I know this much, we have gone too long hiding under the layers. Shying back from whom we were created to be and fulfilling our purposes.

Infinitely Fit was created as a solution for a healthy lifestyle, and that has held true since 2012- how we go about a healthy lifestyle continues to evolve as we learn about life…not about science. The science is of course a part of what we do and we learn from it, but there are many abstracts science cannot capture that we feel and live every day at Infinitely Fit.  

If you believe in what we stand for, join us in any capacity that makes sense. Follow us and share our content on social media, email us or call us with your thoughts and ideas of how we can help, join us for special events, join our community by taking classes with us, volunteer with us when we are out in the San Diego community. 

It’s time for change, folks! Do you accept who you are? 




'Tis the Season

seasonal depression

It’s always a season.

Every moment of our lives is part of one season or another. Some seasons are longer than others and some seem indefinite, but we can always count on the fact that whatever season we are in will eventually change. And every aspect of our lives has seasons: we have seasons with our kids depending on their ages and stages, we have seasons with our friends where people come and go, we have seasons where we are flourishing and most things fall into place, and we have seasons that bring us to our knees because everything seems hard.

It’s difficult to remember that all seasons are and always will be temporary; nothing lasts forever. We get stuck on the idea of the good seasons, wanting them to never end because we feel entitled to the good season- that’s where life should stay. We think when things are good, we’re good, we’re OK. Which in turn means, if things are bad then we’re bad; then why would we want to let go of the good seasons? As I am certain we all know the truth on some level:

All seasons come with good AND bad, and we perform well AND horribly in all those seasons.

We live in dichotomy but there is something about the human brain that wants to choose one or the other. The brain is unsettled dealing with both sides of life simultaneously.

The dichotomy we live means we’re always performing well and poorly in different aspects of our lives in a single season. Sometimes there’s more good than bad, and sometimes it’s the opposite. Regardless, both good moments and bad moments are present in every season of life regardless of how one sided it seems.

The question then is how to we learn to live in this dichotomy?

For what it’s worth, here’s my advice from my time contemplating this truth.

Acceptance: Accept that there is always good and bad in all seasons and situations. We live in dichotomy and that is OK!

Awareness: Be aware of the soundtrack of our own minds when things seem one sided. Pay attention to our tendency to overplay the stronger feeling so frequently that we seem to be holding on tight to the season. This does happen in both good and bad. During the good we don’t want to let go of good, during the bad, we don’t trust things to get better. The longer we’ve been in a season, the truer this rings.

Gratitude: Be grateful for the good things happening even if they seem few and far between. Also, spend time being thankful for the hard times because you will grow more from those bad moments and hard times than the good moments. Ironically it’s harder to be grateful for the bad things during good times than during the bad times. However, it will do more for a balanced perspective in the good times so we don’t get too married to those good times.

Be present: Be present and allow yourself to experience the good moments and the bad moments fully! And during some seasons that all happens within seconds. Laugh until you cry or scream until you smile, but experience every feeling, every emotion. The more of life that is experienced in the present moment, the more quickly you learn and move through the season.

Set limits: When things get hard or bad, it can feel like the season is indefinite and may, in fact, never end. If you feel this way, it’s time to set a limit. Make a pact with yourself by saying “I am going to give myself a month to fumble through this season. After a month it’s over or I am reassessing.” In a month, if it is not over, reassess where you are compared to where you started and set another limit. Our brains handle finite periods of distress better than indefinite periods. And the limit can be an hour or a day if a month is too long. Just choose what you need to get through that time.

Remember: Like our four seasons (or a kidney stone), this too shall pass….

Relish is the good moments so you don’t lose sight of all you have to be grateful for, and accept the bad moments as life’s classroom.

Enjoy this crazy ride we call life, people. We just never know which season will be our last! 


Breaking Up with the Scale


Breaking Up with the Scale

I’m finally ready to break up with my scale. Not because I am angry at what it tells me, but because it doesn’t really tell me much. You know the kind of scale I’m talking about. The scale that just spits a number at you, completely devoid of emotion with no explanation of what it means by that number.

What does XXX lbs mean? Does it mean I am succeeding at my attempts over a sustained period of time? Or does it mean that I am completely failing and turning into a pile of mush? Why won’t the scale tell me.

You’re probably thinking, “You can get one that reads your body fat.” And I could, but I am breaking up with that number too! Why? Because it is only rooted in the assumption that the number on the scale is accurate. And assuming that number is correct, there could still be a 3% variation in its reading. So let me tell you; I am not listening to their cold-hearted attempts of measuring my worth.

How did this harsh break up begin, you ask? Well, I have a scale at my studio but not in my home, so I only weigh myself at work. The more we used the scale for our clients, the more we saw the variation in it. We tried weighing static weights like dumbbells and kettlebells and the dang thing couldn’t even get those numbers consistently correct. So I ask, if the scale can’t weigh a static weight, how in the world can a scale measure my ever changing body?

We are constantly adding fuel and burning fuel, using and replenishing hormones, breaking down and rebuilding cells, you name it, our body is changing, which means our weight is dynamically shifting, constantly.  If that’s the case, weighing myself once a day (even the same time every day) doesn’t tell me anything more than a number. So that callous scale is out of my life and so is the rollercoaster of emotion that goes with it.

Since I have stopped spending so much time with my scale, my thinking has shifted. I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about “the number”. My focus has shifted from “Did I pass today? Am I worthy enough to call myself a fitness trainer, a woman, attractive, etc?” to “Man that was a great workout! I love the way these pants look on me. I feel the best I have in years!”

I’d like to say I had some great epiphany and used shear willpower to get out from under that emotionless scale, but I didn’t. Not to mention willpower is finite and cannot solely carry you through anything. Some awareness with some environmental changes eventually brought me to take the pressure off myself. Here’s what I believe happened.

First- I became aware that the number was or could possibly be inaccurate which caused doubt.

Second- I struggled to get the scale to be consistent, trying to force it into submission.  Telling nothing but the truth I wanted to see!

Third- I realized I had a losing battle with making the scale accurate and weighed myself anyway, but each time I couldn’t get emotionally attached to the number. And it didn’t matter if it was a “good” number or “bad” one. The scale had broken my trust, so I just didn’t believe it.

Fourth- Slowly I stopped torturing myself with the inaccurate scale. I just stopped getting on so often.

Fifth- About a month or two later I realized I have no idea what I weigh and kind of don’t care.

If I was to give you any advice, it’s probably life is too short to care what a heartless scale has to say about you. You have so much value and worth because you’re you, not because you weigh XXX lbs or wear a size YY.

Easy for me to say, right? Saying about you is easy for me, but remembering to believe it about me, is different. So I just want you to know I get it. I get why you want it to be a certain number, I get why you are afraid to not be attached to that number, and I get that you don’t really know who you would be without this struggle.

My answer to that….Do what you need to do for yourself right now. We’re here to help if you want it.




Sitting with Pain

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Sitting with Pain


A year and a half ago I started getting intense, shooting pain through my left pelvic region. I was fraught with fear, confusion, panic. I saw countless doctors. They simply couldn't figure out the source of the pain.

Fast-forward a year (and countless hours of spinning, squatting and deadlifting – oops) later and I discovered the source of my pain – a torn hip labrum.  

Whomp, whomp.

Initially, I was hit with shock and frustration at having to restrict my regular activity regimen and prepare for hip surgery at 23.

I was worried about having to give up my job teaching spin. Angry at forfeiting the progress I’d made in the weight room. And frankly, I was in pain all the time.

Due to insurance and hospital scheduling issues, it took 6 months from that point to get my hip fixed up.

Because I was tired of wallowing in pain and self-pity, I decided to build myself a bridge and get over it (not literally – no bridge building with a busted hip).

Dealing with a torn labrum for over a year and a half limited my activity level, my capacity to work, my ability to sit down and – it was pretty damn painful.

Despite these various discomforts, the experience was a tremendous blessing.

Blessing? How could a year and a half of pain and limitation be a blessing?

Throughout the whole, messy process, I learned that pain does not have to equal suffering. I couldn’t change my hip’s condition and immediately eliminate my pain, but I could choose how to respond to the pain in my hip.

Viktor Frankl, after having survived the Auschwitz concentration camp, wrote, “Between the stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom."

In the space between my sensation of hip pain and my mental, emotional and physical response was my power to choose. This power became abundantly clear the longer I had to deal with discomfort.

I could choose to be miserable daily and lament my misfortune or I could choose to accept, to look forward, to find meaning so that my pain didn’t have to cause suffering.

Pain + stress = suffering. Pain + fear = suffering. Pain + self-pity = suffering. But pain, itself, doesn’t have to cause you great suffering.

Pain or discomfort doesn’t just come in the form of torn hip labrums or other physical stressors. Pain is losing your job. Pain is fighting with a loved one. Pain is grappling with guilt when you’ve made a mistake. Pain is feeling shame about yourself or your body.

Through the physical manifestation of pain, we can learn to deal with the less obvious mental, emotional, or spiritual forms of pain.

Here are some things I’ve found helpful in learning to sit with pain.

Explore the Discomfort

I often perform full body scans, where I move my attention throughout my body, noticing whatever sensations are present. I found that, when I used this technique during periods of intense hip pain, the pain was actually much more manageable than I thought. If I could allow myself to be fully present with the pain, instead of feeling anxious or angry at its existence, I could soften the tension a bit.

Fear of pain, whether physical, mental or emotional, is often far worse than the pain itself.

Raise your Awareness

Before I knew the cause of my hip pain, I was a blubbering mess. I was up all night Web MD-ing, convinced I had hernias, or cysts or cancer. Once I discovered the source of my pain, I found that I noticed it far less. It was no longer constantly pulling at my mind, begging to be attended to.

Raising your awareness can help with any source of pain or discomfort. Struggle with emotional overeating? Try taking a 60 second pause to check in with your thoughts, feelings and physical sensations when you notice an impulse to binge. This can be a critical moment that allows you to regain your equilibrium and power.

Find your Precursors to Pain

When I first started experiencing discomfort in my hip, I found that sitting hurt, that cycling hurt, that deadlifting hurt – so I had to change these activities. I used to think I had to do all of those things (to be fit or happy). Turns out, I didn't.

I got a standing desk to minimize sitting time, started walking instead of cycling, and bench-pressing instead of deadlifting (still sad about that one, but it had to happen).

The more you can raise your awareness, the more you can uncover your precursors to pain. Whether that's a stressful job, unrequited love or unaccomplished dreams, understanding your precursors to pain is a powerful step in taking action towards overcoming it.

As I wise and dear friend once said when someone remarked on her high pain tolerance, “I don’t have a high pain tolerance, I just have a high ability to sit with pain.”


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The #1 Reason You’re Unsuccessful & How to Change It


The #1 Reason You’re Unsuccessful & How to Change It

Success comes in all forms. Only an individual can define success for him or herself, but somewhere along the way, our American culture decided to streamline what success is for all of us. What were we all told when we were young? “Get good grades so you can go to college, so you can get a good job, find a good spouse, buy a nice house and car, have 2.5 kids, own a dog, and be happy.”

Although we may have been the few blessed with good parents who saw the world a little more well rounded, the truth is that the rest of the world’s message held more weight. I never knew I had an option to do anything but go to college after high school until I was recruited by the Marine Corps for my music skills. Wait! What? I can be a US Marine AND play music! WHAT?! I’m sure my mom told me that I had other options of what I could do after high school, but they never felt like options because the information never even stuck in my brain…PEOPLE! The only reason I became a US Marine was my mother convincing me that I could do all the things she knew I wanted to do and didn’t have to go to school right away.

I had turmoil in my decision making process, but not for long. I am a “balls to wall” decision making person at my core, so I don’t sit on decisions too long. (Obviously, I was destined for the Corps.)

My point remains the same. How do we define success? Well “we” collectively cannot determine success for any one person. We have a unique journey to fulfill and there are no duplicates in the world.

So why have we bought into this one picture of how life is supposed to work? Of how success should be measured?

The reason you’re unsuccessful in life pursuits is most likely because you’re trying to pursue some fake life of success.

Who said you have to go to college to be successful? I don’t think anyone is doubting the success of people like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Michael Dell, Oprah Winfrey, Mark Zuckerberg, Sophia Amoruso, David Neeleman, Paul Allen, and Larry Ellison.

Who said you had to get married to be successful? There are many unsuccessful married and unmarried folk.

Who said the big house with the white picket fence is what makes you happy? I have an uncle who can buy a dream home in any city in the country and he chooses to rent a small 3-bedroom house because he wants to move when he’s ready to move, and he has no need for extra space to fill with extra stuff. He’s a guy who loves experiences, not things.

Who said….OK. I think you get my point, and if not….The #1 reason you are unsuccessful is because you are allowing society to define success. Only you can define your own success.

You will never be successful trying to live someone else’s version of success.

And to that point: How many people consciously want that life for you? If you ask most of your friends and family, they will probably say, I just want you to be happy. Well good news! It’s easy to please them! Just choose to be happy, and if you find that difficult, it’s probably because you’re attempting to live someone else’s life.

So today, instead of trying to choose happiness in a life that isn’t meant for you, choose you. Choose what you want out of life. Maybe that means you choose to go back to school so you can eventually leave a job only your parents wanted for you. Or maybe you choose to leave school to experience the world the way you always wanted to experience it.

If you don’t know who you are at your core, you’re not going to be able to choose wisely. And all of the personality assessments in the world won’t be able to decide for you. They couldn’t possibly supply enough questions to determine the infinite possibilities of who you could be.

The good news? You can work to know yourself better and define your own version of success. Success that only you can define. In order to get to know yourself, you have to be purposeful and intentional about understanding your ins and outs. And here are a couple of activities that can help you with that.

Question it. Even if you think you know how you define success, there may be more you haven’t figured out. So spend a little time asking yourself these questions:

  • Do you know what makes you happy?
  • And what makes you sad?
  • Do you have a fire that feels like an inferno every time you hear of or see a particular situation?
  •  When do you feel energized, like you’re on top of the world?
  • When do you feel completely drained?
  • Do you know any things at which you seem especially gifted? You’re a natural _________
  • Can you describe yourself in 4 words?

Another great way to know how you would define success is to write your own eulogy. I did this exercise once with my business coach, and L-O-V-E-D it! You know why? Because my life isn’t over yet! I can make all of those things real – until the day I die, I have that chance.

What is it you want people to say about you when you’re gone? If you can write that down, you’re on your way to redefining your own success and setting your path on the right trajectory. Don’t be hard on yourself, nothing is written in stone…yet. Until the day we're buried 6 feet under, we still have a chance to make our dreams a reality.

And let’s be honest. I’m sitting here writing this as a 36-year-old woman, a mother of a 13-year-old, running a business, and on the verge of some big changes in my life – I expect my eulogy and my definition of success to change and grow as I change and grow. Don’t be so married to this picture of success that you aren’t allowed to change your mind. You always have that right, so be kind and forgiving to yourself.

If this is something you're interested in discovering more about, but you're not sure how to proceed, you may consider signing up for a complimentary 30 minute health and wellness coaching consultation. Our coach will help you pin point some of the areas that you may be holding yourself back from being your authentic self. We'd love to walk with you on your journey, so don't be afraid to ask for help. Visit our homepage, fill out the form, and our health coach will contact you to set an appointment time. 


When the scale sucks: 7 better ways to know if your nutrition plan is working.  (Precision Nutrition)


When the scale sucks: 7 better ways to know if your nutrition plan is working. (Precision Nutrition)

precision nutrition

Ever feel frustrated that you're doing all the right things but the scale hasn't budged? So have thousands of other health coaching clients. That's why precision nutrition wrote this article to help you acknowledge your progress, even when the scale hasn't  yet. 

Precision Nutrition says: 

To succeed, you must know what small sprouts of progress look like.

You must know…

…how to track them for yourself, if you’re trying to change.

…how to point them out to your clients, if you’re a coach.

And, most importantly…

…how to celebrate them together.

Read their blog to find out the 7 better ways to measure you success:



"I'm proud of you"

I'm proud of you. I don't know about you, but those four little words strung together can make an impact like few others in my life. 

Just today I received a phone call from my big sis. She really amazes me sometimes with her perspective of me and my journey to my business. (She also has a sixth sense and always knows things before I tell her, but that's a different topic all together.) When she called me kind of out of the blue, it was just to catch up. She went on to tell me that she was just talking about me and how she believes a friend of hers can be successful in her similar business because I am successful in mine.

It stopped me in my tracks filled with humility and uncertainty. Rather than being appreciative of the comment, I was almost argumentative with my sister saying that it sounds like this person is even more successful than me.

You're probably reading this thinking: But you ARE successful. You're in business, your doors are open and things are growing; how many people have that?

The truth is she's right and you're right! I have success in my business and my life. I see it when I pay attention, but day-to-day it's easy to forget the journey at which I've already succeeded and the little steps along the way. 

In early years on this journey the thought that someone else was more successful would have gotten stuck in my head. I would have decided that since they are more successful, I am a failure (now that's a blog for another day). I would have allowed it to eat me alive, defeating my future attempts at the next milestone of success on my journey ahead. 

This time was different. I heard the words my sister said, almost immediately tuning them out. I felt and heard the loud and negative bitch in my head telling me I am not successful- I've failed. But then I heard my sisters words again. She was trying to tell me that she was proud of me, and a couple sentences later, that's exactly what she said. Had I allowed the loud negative thoughts to plague me, I never would have heard the most important words my sister had for me today. 

She would have said those positive words, but I never would have received them as the gift she intended. If I hadn't opened my mind to receive those words, when things get harder during this journey (and they will), I wouldn't have that gift to lean on. 

I'm eternally grateful to my sister for her words of encouragement, and not just for the content of her being proud of me, or for the future memory of that moment. I'm also grateful that her moment of kindness unlocked awareness of strength inside me and gratitude for my journey, completed and incomplete.

The healing and growth I have had over the last few years is not only palatable, but it is being put into action even without conscious effort. If this sounds a little like a self-kudos moment-- IT IS! I'm proud of me for numerous reasons right now! 

Thanks to my big sis for always being my cheerleader and supporter, and for helping me see an accurate reflection of my journey in this moment.  

I hope this encourages you to keep working towards a healthy mindset and emotional health. You are worthy of believing in yourself. Until you believe that about yourself, I'm here to remind you!

I'm proud of you for every bit of effort you have put into you, for making every hard decision that allowed you to step into a better version of yourself, and for just showing up, reading a blog, getting out of bed, or saying a prayer when it was hard to even exist. You're valuable to this world just because you are you!

Please feel free to comment below, share with friends and family or email me personally. 

LJ Eastmead



8 Ways to Get More Movement Without Exercising

With the health and fitness industry blowing up, there are small boutique fitness facilities popping up everywhere. In San Diego County, you can find small group fitness training (like us), boxing gyms, MMA training facilities, any form of martial arts you’d like, surfing groups, cycling groups, hiking teams, kayaking lessons, dance lessons of all kinds (even pole dancing), and anything else you can think of that is fitness related. You can also find all of them on Groupon or Living Social for a killer deal. Honestly, you can jump from place to place every month paying a fraction of the cost for high level fitness using those sites. But sometimes, even the Groupon rates are too much or you just want ways to get your exercise in on your own schedule or in your own space.

Often times, when we’re ready to start or improve our fitness routines, we tend to think about getting our daily exercise through traditional platforms or gyms, classes, running, swimming, etc. But what if I told you that movement is movement is movement. Working out in a great community of people like we have at Infinitely Fit is fantastic! It’s a great way to make friends, stay accountable and care for your body. However, if you’re anything like me, you need something else that fills you. Something that makes you feel alive and helps you to stay healthy.

Here are the top ways I like to get some movement in my day without actually exercising in the traditional sense.

1.       Summer Concerts in the Park = DANCING!

All over San Diego County (and in many parts of the country), communities host a free summer concert series for the public. There is usually no cost unless you decide to donate to the series. My best friend and I grab the husbands (when they are willing) and teens (because we make them) and trek our way to Coronado almost every Sunday evening in the summer. We set up our food and wine and chat while we people watch. Then, my niece begs me (for like 2 seconds because I’m ready) to go dance with her. We kick off our shoes and dance for easily 30 minutes or more. Now, I am no professional dancer, and I am extremely aware that we are the subjects of other people’s people watching entertainment. Since I am who I am that just fuels the fire of the ridiculous gyrations I call dancing. Depending how hard I am working, I can burn 300-500 calories…an extra glass of wine anyone? Obviously, you don’t have to go anywhere to dance if you have a phone and Pandora. Turn it up and get down!

2.       Exploring the seas

I don’t go often, so I am no pro, but I do like going out and kayaking or stand up paddle boarding. They are fun activities that allow me to not only get some exercise, but also to see the city from a different perspective. I am a city girl, and I love city skylines. Being in the San Diego Bay looking back at the skyline can take me to a different world. These activities can certainly be considered a more traditional form of exercise, but I think if you’re doing it right, it’s just being outside exploring and connecting with nature.

3.       Camping games

When I think camping, I think hanging outside playing games. I’m all about a good game of softball or stickball, but I mean more like corn hole and horseshoes. They are simple games that keep you on your feet and active. You aren’t burning calories at a record burning pace, but it sure as heck beats the calorie burning going on when your greatest ass-et is on the couch.

4.       Physical Challenges

Sometimes my son and I will take out some stability exercise balls and challenge each other to a pose or position. I tend to win because I am overly competitive…don’t feel too sorry for him, he’s 13 and taller than me (and I’m not short!). But you can do anything: Have a long jump competition, play HORSE, balance like a flamingo and try to knock each other over, relay races…the more ridiculous the better because you’ll be laughing and getting a great ab workout.

5.       Balloon play

Along the lines of the Physical challenges, balloon games are a blast and a great way to get your heart rate up. Blow up a few balloons and try to keep them in the air. If that’s too easy, don’t use your hands to keep it afloat. You can use your arms, legs, feet, face, head; just not your hands. If you’re playing with others, each person can only hit it once. If it hits the ground, start the count over. How many times can you hit it without dropping it? Or have two groups and compete. Whatever makes it fun for you- do it!

6.       Anything ball

So I have to give credit to some friends for this one. We met up with my son’s best friend and his family one evening. They are a family of 5, all of the kids are boys. Then the uncle’s family came with 2 more boys, then us. So we have 3 moms and the rest dads and boys. Well, I was the only mom willing to play that day.  I think it’s because it was such a novelty to me and the other 2 have lived with it for years and don’t find it nearly as engaging as my competitive spirit. Here’s how it works: Gather whatever kinds of balls and Frisbees you have and as many people as you’d like. As safely as you possibly can, start kicking, passing and throwing any of the balls or Frisbees that come to you. OK, so it’s a little dangerous. There’s a lot of yelling names and “head up” that happen, but man is it fun. Of course if you’re playing with a bunch of young boys, wrestling matches happen too. There will be no shortage of movement in this ridiculous game.

7.       Recreational League/Pickup Game

Join a recreational league or sign up for a pickup game of a sport you love. With Meet Up, I find all sorts of things to do and try. I play soccer in recreational leagues, but there are also pickup games here and there. Start one yourself if you really want to play something. You don’t even have to be good. Get a kickball game started and invite people out to the park, or even the people hanging around the park. Or go to the beach and ask someone to kick around a soccer ball, play volleyball or throw a Frisbee.

8.       Stretching

I’m not talking a yoga class here. If you take yoga and want to do that on your own- go for it. I am just talking about spending time on your floor while the TV is on and stretching out your joints. Just sitting with your legs wide could be enough. Or maybe you want to stretch those glutes and hamstrings to alleviate low back pain. May you’re sadistic like me and have a foam roller you torture yourself on regularly as you watch your favorite shows.

The point is, exercise doesn’t have to be the mundane, the traditionally prescribed programs we usually picture when we think exercise. It can be exciting without being intense. It will open your mind to moving your body and understanding how it likes to move, and trust me, it LIKES to move!

If you continue to do the same activities repetitively without changing things up some, you put too much wear and tear on your joints (that goes for our kids too). So try something new and different and fun for you. Maybe you find you like it and maybe you find you don’t. Either way, you tried and you now know.  

We’d love to know what it is you decide to do from our list or your own ways to get movement outside of a traditional exercise platform. Leave a comment or send a message!

Happy moving!