I walked into the studio filled with hope and excitement. Paint, buckets, brushes, and drop cloths filled the multi colored space which I was desperately ready to make my own. Many friends and family members offered to come and help with the task ahead: We must paint and set up the studio in less than 48 hours.
To move into this space, things were simple, easy even. I thought this moment of success would feel more momentous, but really, it felt like work. With all the work that needed to be done, I was elated, joyful, and stressed to no end….
March 12, 2016, as we furiously worked to make Infinitely Fit the space I imagined, I didn’t know how pivotal the decision to move into a commercial space was for me in all aspects of my life, not just for my business.
At the time, this decision seemed to be based on business facts, and some emotions tied strictly to the business growth. I had no idea how much it meant in every facet of my life.
When I moved Infinitely Fit into the studio where we now run our daily inspiration, motivation, and just plain fun, I found freedom from my past and found hope for a brand-new future. It opened what felt was a whole new way of seeing and being.
I began to look at everything as if I was balancing on my head or walking without my V-8.
I had already been fighting to stay in the life I had because that’s what I’m “supposed” to do. And my new perspective amplified those feelings. And I just couldn’t stay any longer.
Over the course of the following two years, my whole life changed.
I was married to a Marine for nearly 14 years before we separated just after the studio opened.
I was a full time single mom 90% of the time due to deployments, and now I see my son occasionally throughout the weeks and every other weekend.
I was the leader of my small family, and now I am alone.
I had a middle schooler and now I have a high schooler.
I ran a small operation business out of my garage, and now I have trainers and overhead to worry about.
I had a home, that even though we rented, was my home, I now live with a friend.
I had a healthy fit body, now I have a healthy and less fit body.
I had many friends whom I could count on, now my friends are scattered or the relationship has run it’s course.
I had my “Framily” in the form of Bestie, her husband and my nieces, and now, they live across the country.
I had my bestie to go to happy hour, plan a girls day or just be there for each other on a whim, and now we have to work hard to even coordinate time to talk.
Before March 14, 2016, I thought I was the girl who could tackle anything and still have it all…
Before I was bold enough to take on the gym and leave my marriage, I was working towards everything I felt I “should” have and want. I can’t say that I don’t still look for what I think I “should” want in life, but I am much more aware, and listen to my internal desires more and more frequently.
So, you ask, what have I learned by flipping my life upside over the span of two years?
Probably more than I can ever articulate in this short post, but here is my best attempt:
The quote is the start of the process, not the whole story. What it doesn’t explain is that when the plans go awry, that’s when real life happens, learning ensues, and character is built. It’s what we need.
Continuously flipping everything on its head for the last two years didn’t break me, it grew me, my relationships, my resiliency, my self-confidence, my coping skills, and so much more.
It makes me think of muscle breakdown. When we workout, we are actually tearing our muscle fibers. That is the purpose of loading the muscles. Then, our bodies repair the muscles and the fibers are stronger than before.
Our whole body works that way, so what if we embrace the breakdown process for all aspects of our well-being: mentally, emotionally, spiritually, relationally. Because It A-L-L breaks down.
It happens all at once or in waves, but some aspect of life will fall short of our expectations; then we start again. Rinse and repeat.
Let’s be honest, life keeps moving whether we intentionally start again or not. The choice to start again provides greater growth and faster healing. The choice to resist the change forces us to stay in the pain longer. And don’t kid yourself, it is a choice!
Change is inevitable, the choice to move with the change is optional. There are far greater benefits to making the choice to move with the change rather than resist.
Maybe you have a cascading affect of change like mine has been over the last two years, but it doesn’t have to be. It can be small changes that add up to make a big impact. Embracing change makes the ride a little more enjoyable and moves you through more change faster, so you see the results you want sooner.
I encourage you to evaluate your change resistance to the things going on in your life, so that you can make a conscious choice to change or stay the same. Being aware is the first step to moving forward, healing past wounds, and building character that provides resiliency.
Thank you for all who have been a part of this journey. I look forward to celebrating again with you next year and many more to come!